The William Tell Sketch - By Danny Kaye and Slivia Fine

 

Son: I'm just a babe in the wood, let it be understood, i'm not
feeling so good. My dad, William Tell has gone mad, and this apple I
dread, he'll shoot off of my head. Oh, here is dad now!

William Tell: I'm a darn I'm a darn I'm a darn good shot, even though
my eyes are not so hot, even though I know I squint a lot, I'm a darn,
I'm a darn good shot. I can see I can see my son has sense, even he
even he has confidence, in a barn on a farm or a parking lot, I'm a
darn, I'm a darn good shot.

S: When I saw when I saw when I saw the apple I knew pa had flipped
his lid, oh papa oh papa your just a crazy mixed up grown up kid.
With a bow with a bow with a bow and arrow you may get your point
across, but I know but I know but I know of better ways of making
apple sauce.

WT: Look at my son with his confident air.

S: That's how I look when I'm saying my prayers.

WT: Get the ap get the apple on your lid get the ap get the apple up
there kid, get the apple up there that I bought I'm a darn, I'm a darn
good shot.

S: Tell me why tell me why tell my why I should, tell me why dear dad
and make it good, tell me why you're playing robin hood, tell me why,
better make it good.

WT: High ho, your country's in its time of need, primal need, kindly
heed, your country's call.

S: I know the country's lost its glory dad, story sad, sorry dad, you
can't win them all.

WT: Get the ap get the ap get the apple there and don't you dare give
me that rot. Get the ap get the ap get the apple where I'm sure to
shoot a darn good shot.

S: Do I dare do I dare do I dare before you shoot it make one last
request. Can I wear can I wear can I wear a suit of armor and a
bullet proof vest.

WT: That would be cheating, that's not in the deal. But I will grant
your very last meal. You can have you can have any thing you wish,
have a smorgasboard or a chinese dish, have an irish stew or a good
swiss cheese, you can have, anything you please.

S: Oh papa oh papa that's a real nice treat, but none of those things
do I want to eat, so I think I'll have a bite instead, of the ap-ple
on my head.

WT: Oh no......

S: Oh yes I will!

WT: Oh no......

S: Oh yes I will!

Both: One last meal just one last meal take care, it isn't fair, you
wouldn't dare, no time to spare, cause soon the apple will be parted
by an arrow as its shot into midair.

WT: I'm a darn I'm a darn I'm a darn good shot [repeat with S's next
line]

S: But I know but I know that your not so hot.

WT: Darn good shot [repeat with S's next line]

S: Not so hot.

WT: Good.......shot good shot good shot good shot good shot
S: You're.....not you're not you're not you're not you're not

WT: Good shot.

S: You're not.

WT: Good shot [hold for a while]!
S: You're not [hold for a while]!

 

Last Updated: 28 June 98
Return to Midair's SCA Page.
Return to Chuck Cohen's Home Page.