I found a fragment of a diary of someone in the SCA. Unfortunately the
author is unknown. The reading of this diary should prove very
enlightening. Enjoy - Midair, who adds a :) just in case, and the
names used are meant to be fictional...

 

 

Oktobur Thurty

lady dulsina sez i am doong reel good with my lerning. i cun tel a
dog frum a cat now. she said the doktor wants to giv me a new kind of
drug. she says its sperimentle. she seys it culd make me smartir. i
hope so bekus peepul keep mayking fun of me.

p.s. i athurized in hevy wepons today!!

 

 

November 15

I knew I fight good today because Lady Dulsina told me I did. I
bloked sum sword thrusts!! I still got hert by the strange metal man
with too sords and no shield. I wish I had too sords!! I dont know
if I shuld just charg at the metal men. Maybe I should see how the
metal men fight and learn how they dont get hurt. I think this drug
reely is meking me smartur! I authirized in pole arm today! Big
stick!

 

 

Dec 14, 1994

All the doctors thought I was cool today!! I am so happy! I defeated
a couple of squires at the tournament today using Florentine style. I
think Florentine is the weapon style for me, although pole arms seem
fun too. I like them also. Today Lady Dulcinea taut me how to use
question marks? I like them too? They are also cool? Almost as cool?
As stick jocks?

 

 

Dec 15, 1994

Some jerk in a shiney crown and big dragon tabard and a large gold
chain kept killing me on the field today! He was beating everyone!!
And I culdn't let Lady Dulcinea see I was crying so I had to run to
the port-a-john! And all he faught with was a sword and shield!! No
more Florentine style - I need to learn how to better use a big sword
and a big shield!!!

 

 

Dec 27, 1994

Sword and shield are awesome! I think Lady Dulcenia is proud of the
way I defeat opponents on the field, yet still try to be chivalrous
and courtly, showing respect to my opponents and to royalty. Duke Sir
Wolfbane came over and asked me if I wished to be his squire!! I
accepted immediately, and knelt before him as he placed the silver
chain around my neck. I have got to get some more of that smart drug
stuff. At this rate I will be a knight in no time, maybe even
... King?

 

 

Twelth Night Celebration in the Barony of the Roaring Wastes, the
Reign of William And Alina, Anno Sociatas XXIX.

I am a titan in metal and chain. Rattan is an extention of my arm; my
shield cloaks my body in invulnerability. My sword blows lash out
around me in potent fury leaving whistling wind in their wake, but
that is but music accompaning the dance of the battle where I am the
master of all. My weapon blurs through the intricate combat with my
opponent, an optomized engine of all that a warrior should be. My
blows are never light, nor are they ever too hard. I duck, dodge,
weave, and parry all attacks sent toward me and none passes through my
circle of control. Shield walls crumble against my overwhelming
onslaught. None can halt the brunt of my attack. I bring death upon
the leagons of the weak like a cold and bitter sleet.

The test drug Algernon-3Y-AGO's molecular structure uncoils in my
brain. Apart from the serotonic effects, it is clearly a
revolutionary advance in neurochemical alteration. I'm presenting a
paper at IKAC Symposium next week. I hope Lady Dulcinea will be
attending.

 

Feb 25, 1996

I think something's wrong. The drug doesn't seem to be having the same
kind of effect it used to. After the conference I noticed that things
seemed to be harder to think about than usual. I hope this is a minor
problem. To relieve my frustration I went to fighter practice and
defeated both Duke Sir Wolfbane and Duke Sir Anchar simultaneously in
combat.

 

 

March 15 1996

Stupid Knights at the tournament don't know what they are talking
about. Those blows were light. I don't care *what* the Marshals were
saying. And my blows were not too hard. They are all just jealous of
my skill. Idiots. Lady Dulcina cried today and ran out of the
tournament after the doctors told her something. I wonder what it was.
Stupid doctors. Stupid fighters, their blows were light! I am going
to be a knight soon, they should LISTEN to me!

 

 

Mar 25

i am the best fiter better than all of you
i dont need armor i fix it later, fight now
hold stick in both hands to hurt them more
ha ha ha
made fun of dancers
ha ha ha
can still fite without athurzashun card
lay ON

 

 

aprul 3

LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT! LIGHT!

 

[no further entries]

 

Last Updated: 28 June 98
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